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Livin’ Lives – The Tale of Fletch’s Life As a Yellow Garden Spider [2018]

Hi I’m Fletch, Talkin’ About What I Know Nothin’ About. “MindStretch with Fletch” is a smart cartoon comedy infotainment show exploring reality, beliefs, and stretching your mind!

“MindStretch with Fletch” covers topics like science, philosophy, spirituality, music, movies and more as an effort to help expand global consciousness.

The ideas presented are not intended to tell you how to think, but rather to give you a diverse perspective on concepts that many times are held to be fact based on your personal education, experience, and beliefs. Our goal is for you to open your mind, do your own research and think for yourself.

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(Fletch is a conscious observer that has been around since before time as we know it began. He exists outside of time and space with the ability to observe & interact with other beings along with living as any form of life he wants, whenever he wants, and remembers his experiences.)

Video Transcription:

Hey everybody this is Livin’ Lives on MindStretch with Fletch

Today I’m gonna be tellin ya the tale of when I lived as a Yellow Garden Spider.

Well I found myself all cooped up inside this egg while I waited out the winter cold for spring to come along. Then one day I felt it was time to break out and see what this life was all about.

Once I escaped, I saw a whole bunch of brothers and sisters all doing the same thing. So we all took off on our own to find a place to catch some food. I found this nice little corner of the world where I built a tiny orb web trap.

fore long I done caught myself my first meal. A juicy, bloody sqeeter. Why, when she first hit my web I couldn’t make hide nor hair of it, but then the ole’ instincts kicked right in there. Boy, she was madder than an ole wet hen. So I scurried over and bit her just to calm her down. Then spun her all up in my silk just to marinate for a few hours. Then I went to town. Hm hm now that squeeter would a made yer tongue slap yer brains out. It’s always a trip tastin something for the first time as a new bein’. Ya never know what it’s gonna be like, but that one there was doozy.

Then for several months I just kept weaving webs, catching food, eatin, and recycling the silk so I could set up a trap somewhere’s else without having to re-make all the materials. Lotta people don’t even know we do that. But it makes things a lot easier.

Sometimes I’d post up ‘tween a couple bushes, other times I’d find an opening on a porch of a buildin’ or somethin. The best places though was where food for other types of beings was growing. Like gardens with fruits and vegetables so there were lots of other critters hanging around.

I’d try to find somewhere’s that was sunny with not much wind. So them critters would be just flyin’ along and suddenly find themselves with nowhere to go. And I’d just be waiting fer ‘m. And I’d have me another snack. Them days kept me busier than a one-armed monkey with 2 peckers.

Since most days I just sat in one place waiting for food to show up, I’d watch the comin’s and goin’s. One time when I had posted up in this garden, I done seen this family of deers just munchin’ on some lettuce. Them deers are usually pretty dirty and don’t smell so good, but the thing about that is they attract all sorts of flying critters with ‘em that get themselves stuck in my web.

So that day it was like fishin in a barrel and I got to snag me a smorgasbord of delicacies. But while I had’em marinadin this human came runnin’ out of their house to shoo off them deers eatin their lettuce, like it was a big to-do. It’s always a hoot to see them humans try to keep their stuff separated from the rest of nature, and they get all fussed up over everyone else just following their own instincts for survival. He he. I get it though, they’re on a whole nother level. But it’s still funny every time.

Another time, I was posted up on a porch and watched a bunch of butterflies just fluttering along off in the distance and I thought. Hmm that looks tasty. I sure hope they wander over yonder. They was a beautiful orange with black stripes and white dots around the edges… and sure enough one eventually mozied off on its own, just destined for my belly.

As it came closer I thought, that one right there is headed for my web and sure enough he landed right in it. He started flapping his wings and flippin and floppin just a tearin up my trap. I tried to get up on him to knock him out with a bite of venom, but he done broke hisself free.

So I never got to taste that there monarch butterfly. It sure looked good though. But ya win some and you lose some. I did get myself a grasshopper later that day though, cause he got hisself stuck in the stabilimentum of my web, see that’s the thick part so there ain’t no escapin. Fightin’ to get out o there is about useless as tits on a bull. But I still got right up there on him quick like, wrapped ‘em all up and then later had myself that tasty treat as a consolation.

So I just kept growing and growing and as summer turned to fall I realized that my days were numbered and it was about time to pass on my genes by finding a man to mate with. Then one day, I was chillin on my web… waiting to catch some food and I felt a vibration. It was coming from the edge. And it didn’t seem to be struggling. I was more confused than a cricket in a hub cap. Then I felt the vibration again, so I looked over and I saw this other spider… I could tell it was like me, but wasn’t like me ya know. It was smaller and skinnier… then I realized… why that’s a dude. And he’s trying to get with me to make babies.

But I was skeptical, what makes him think that I want to make babies with him. So I eyeballed him for a spell. He started putting off this vibe ya’ know and moving toward me just a bumpin and a grindin. Thinkin he was somethin. Haha Then he’d back off a little, put off another vibe, then start doing his thing again… movin a little closer. He was being cautious as he should have been seeins as I was bigger than him. And since I still wasn’t certain of his intentions, I was ready to pounce if need be. I could tell he had a silk drop line setup to make an escape if I attacked him. But he sure was persistent… and I started to like it.

He just kept inching closer and closer ’til finally I decided to let him have his way with me and we shook booties. Then as soon as I got what I needed. I took him out. Wrapped him up in my silk and let him marinade for a few hours and then gobbled him up to give nourishment to my new babies. That he’d helped me make. But for him, that was all she wrote.

Then after a spell I was ready to lay my eggs. So I pushed’m out, wrapped’m in silk and put’m in the middle of my web to be safe. By this time, I could tell I was getting older. Just somethin inside told me I was getting near the end. So I just kept doing what I’d done, stayin’ alive and keeping them eggs safe as long as I could.

Then one night it got colder than a witch’s titty and I could tell my time was almost up.
So I said goodbye and good luck to my eggs. My body started to freeze and I felt myself fade off into the abyss and on to the next adventure.

And as I look back on this experience, I reckon it makes me appreciate some of the other lives where I get to live a little longer and travel a little more. But this is also one those lives where I get to relax most of the time just waiting for food to catch themselves and I don’t have to hunt all the time just to make it like a lotta other times. I tell you what, sometimes when you’re starvin and can’t find any food. That’s a tough row to hoe. But there’s no sweet without the sour.

Every life teaches us somethin about what it’s like to be somethin else. Just a little more perspective so’ans we’re not runnin around like a chicken with it’s head cut off.

Alright, that’s it for this video. I hope you enjoyed my tale of livin as a Yellow Garden Spider and it stretched your mind at least a bit. Just remember, “a mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original shape.” See ya next time.

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